If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize