I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
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he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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