I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
