Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
