how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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