did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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