As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
