I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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