i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
