PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
