I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
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dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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