There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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