I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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