Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
