I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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