it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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