Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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