grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
