We tried having a conversation with our noses.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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