nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
