I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You left your phone here
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