I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
