Who did Billy Mays play for?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
