what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
