I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize