addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
