it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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