So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
