Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
