i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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