She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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