genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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