it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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