I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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