You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
