so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
