u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.