It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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