Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
