Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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