Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
only you would photoshop your dick
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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