Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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