Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
