Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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