Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize