standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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