absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
kristin has been a bad kristin
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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