if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
