hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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