he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is it because I queefed?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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