she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
