The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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