last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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