kristin has been a bad kristin
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
