Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
