I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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