remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
