I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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