I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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