You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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