'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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