we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks