I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging