I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.