I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
