Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize