I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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