dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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