we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
