So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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