...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize